The Sun Is Out, The Sky Is Blue

 

Barnes Wallis New A Thing Or Two

A week where there was plenty of availability, which throws up differing problems for the club captains. The 1s are playing away – on the Isle of Wight, so they all go together in a mini bus. This makes selecting a team for the 1s captain really easy. He just picks the 10 blokes he most enjoys drinking with and off they go………..  Er, I mean he picks the 10 blokes he thinks will make the best team and off they go. So on for the 2,s 3s etc For me though, it is not so simple. The ‘best’ team is not my sole criteria. I may get some players dropping down if there is lots of availability. But there are also people that regularly play at this level. I also have to make sure I am including some youngsters. Then I have to look at the strength of the opposition – Mudeford 2s are quite decent; losing isn’t a disaster but I want to avoid a dispiriting defeat. So, I have to consider a few different things when selecting a team. I end up with a team of four sets of dads and lads and three more. There are some decent dads and indeed lads mixed in there so it is a fairly decent team; perhaps not the strongest I could theoretically pick but good enough I feel to give the opposition a decent game.

I get to the ground nice and early so I am not feeling flustered, the pitch looks decent and I think I would choose to bat first (goes to show how much I know). I promptly lose the toss and get put in to bat. Not so bad thinks I, I was wrong.

The pitch was a bit naughty, very up and down. I have forgotten my helmet and this is the first time I really wish I was wearing one; as the ball could shoot of a length, or indeed keep low. My opening partner Reece and I going into ‘survival’ mode, seeing if we could get through and wait for the ball to go a bit soft and the pitch to bake a bit in the sun. As it turns out, we can’t…… I get out for 3 of off 19 balls. This sounds kind of rubbish but I am indeed the highest scorer of the top 6. We are down to 28/6, with only 6 of those runs of the bat. It is starting to look like the ‘dispiriting defeat’ that I want to try and avoid. I should also say, that this is not only due to the testing conditions. The Mudeford bowlers bowled relentlessly on an excellent line, which would have been difficult to deal with at the best of times.

A perfect release at the crease

I was wearing a Go Pro so have some actual footage of the bowling to show how hard it was to face.

In game footage

We then had a slight uptick, with Sargon Worsdale and Kiran Mandivalli coming to the crease. Kiran threw his hands at most things, Sargon blocked the straight ones and attacked the wider ones. They both got into their 20s before getting out. Kiran nicking off, Sargon playing a textbook forward defensive stroke and the ball shooting under his bat (I was umpiring and he had a proper ‘da faq’ look on his face after the ball careened into his stumps). With this effort managed to crawl our way up to a mighty 96 all out. Probably not enough……….

But we thought we would give it a go. It would be pointless trying to defend such a score so we went with the ‘have to take wickets’ plan. The pitch was calming down a bit (or the ball was getting softer) but it was still a bit naughty. So, slip, gully, catching extra cover (if not quite silly). We made a decent fist of it as well, with Mudeford, a team with some very good bats, 7 down before they managed to chase down the total. It got so desperate, even I had a bowl, got a wicket too. So again, close but no cigar. A fun game played in a good spirit and although we lost it was a fighting loss, and not the crushing defeat that I feared when we were 6 down.

For the champagne moment, an honourable mention to Adam Loader for a very smart slip catch, throwing himself forward and to the left. But the award this week goes to James Burns, who hit the winning runs. After the scores are tied on 96 he won the game with a boundary. This is of course always a stylish thing to do. In this instance it also has the added bonus of giving an extra batting point. I think it is fair to say Mudeford 2s are targeting promotion this year and the teams at the top of the table may well end up with the same number of wins. So the bonus points could be very important, come the end of the season that extra point could make the difference.

Match Scocrecard - a tale of woe

Winton Round Up

Well, despite a captains innings from their er, captain, the 1s managed to come second.

The 2s made it 2 for 2 to keep going to the top of the table.

The 3s are finding the start of their promotion year a learning curve, Div 5 is certainly a step up from Div 6.

The 4s are bossing it in Dorset with another win.

HCL Div 6(a)

I notice that all the teams that are a clubs 4s or 5s are huddling towards the bottom of the table; apart from Lymington 4s who are the seasons early pacemakers. Do they have some good players dropping down? Some really good youngsters spreading their wings? Have they just been a bit lucky in the first 2 games? We shall see as the season unfolds.

 

 

Summers coming and train spotting just isn't exciting enough for me........

How do you get your kicks? Some adrenalin junkies get drawn to extreme sports like golf, or crown green bowling. For some, not even this level of craziness is enough and they get into such bonkers pursuits like train spotting. But when even the sight of a Class 73 fails to move you, or you are too jaded to even get excited upon knowing that a Sprinter Class 158 unit has a Perkins engine installed, then you need to take your thrill seeking to the next, extreme level. That level is the Hampshire Cricket League, Division 6(a). Strap in baby we are ready for take off!

You are probably already drooling looking at this Class 73, but how would you feel if I told you that this baby is a bi mode?  

The new season is upon us! The weather reports during the week were predicting showers but come the day the morning was warm if a cloudy, with it due to clear later, lovely cricketing weather. First game up is against Suttoners 2s, who finished mid table last season – so above us. I seem to recall from playing them last season that their batting was their strength, with some experience and skilled openers followed by some hard hitters. So, a good challenge to start with. We are going with a team that mixes youth and experience with 4 young lads who will be playing their first competitive adult game.

As it is a new season I am determined to prepare for each game properly, like a professional. So, as I am sure Ben Stokes does on the first morning of a test match I get a load of washing out onto the line to take advantage of a sunny day. Following this I give my daughter a lift to her dance class. To get to the game, my wife drives me to the venue as she will be needing the car later in the day. During the ride, to help me prepare for the game, she takes the opportunity to remind me of what she feels are my more egregious character flaws and the fact that I am probably a bit selfish to be spending the whole day playing cricket anyhow. I am sure Mrs Stokes would do no less for Ben.

So, well prepared and fully focused I stride onto the pitch to have a look at the wicket. It has a lot of grass, including a few clumps and looks a bit damp. I win the toss. Checking my self imposed rule / advice of ‘bat first unless there is a reason not to’, looking at the pitch I say ‘we’ll have a bowl’ and hope that it dries out as the day goes on.

The first few overs were an interesting match. Winton’s two opening bowlers are both U14. Suttoners opening bats by contrast, would not I feel overly object to being described as more to the ‘veteran’ end of the spectrum. Youth versus experience, which would win out? The two young lads bowl really well, helped by the conditions and the hard new ball but they have to put it in the right place. Shanmukha going for only six runs off of his five overs. Alex going for an even more miserly one of off five. However, they did not get a break through, due mainly to the skill and attitude of the bats they were bowling too. Speaking to their captain (one of the openers) he said that he would have bowled first as well. And going out to bat it required ‘proper grown up batting’, by which he meant patience and an ability not to panic. They were facing a ball that was moving off the pitch and had really uneven bounce but they played cautiously and watchfully and did not panic even when they had only scored 7 from the first ten overs. If we were bowling at bats that had started to panic at the lack of runs our opening bowlers would have probably taken a few wickets but it was not to be. 

Having seen off this difficult spell, as the pitch dried and they got their eye in the bats started to accelerate the scoring. Winton bowled well so run rate never got completely out of hand but taking wickets was tough. We were give a bonus in a run out that was never really on. One problem that the Winton team has is that the bowlers are all similar, right arm seam. All decent bowlers but no real change up to challenge the bats with something new (similar to how it has been watching England play for the majority of the past 30 years……) The only option for changing it up was to bowl myself. My bowling is left arm slow / loopy. It does have the ability take wickets but at the risk of tempting the opposition to hit out big. Having a couple of set batsmen in who had plenty of wickets in hand with big hitters to come would risk having the run rate accelerate a little too much. In the end though my hand was forced, one of the bowlers having to stop bowling due to an injury. Bringing myself on I managed to take the wicket of the other opener in my first over – a top edge straight into the air. If given the choice I would have taken myself off immediately to let someone with a bit more pace bowl at a new bat but I had to bowl a couple more.

And so the innings went on, with the Suttoners scoring at a decent pace ending on 236 / 4. Which meant they scored at about 7 ½ an over for the last 30 overs, a good scoring rate to be sure but without completely breaking the bonds.

Was I confident of chasing the score down? I thought it would be tough, we have some decent bats and even though our younger players are decent with the bat chasing down a big score in your first adult game can be daunting. We needed to score at 6 an over, Easy enough in the short term but over after over meant that we needed to keep pushing.

Still, Atilla and I went out with the standard openers attitude of, ‘let’s not go crazy for the first ten, try not to lose a wicket and see where we are’. We were helped off to a very decent start by the first couple of overs from both ends being a bit wayward (first game of the season and all that) before the bowlers found their rhythm and tightened up.  Still, after the first ten overs we had hit about 40 for no loss, which while not up at the required rate was a very decent start. A discussion was then had about needing to start pushing on. The most immediate outcome of which was Attila playing more aggressively a getting caught off a top edge – bugger. However, this did lead to Dave ‘good time not long time’ Baugley striding to the crease. This meant that the scoring rate went up somewhat.

Which is a good time to reflect that in the limited overs amateur game there are two different types of top order bats. Test V IPL, Boycott V Gale, Love you long time V Wham bam thank you mam. Both styles are needed in a side; however both have a built in flaw that the bat must guard against. Mr IPL can score quickly but they must realise that it is not only 20 overs. You are still allowed to respect the good ball and flat bat it, that way you are still around to whack the next bad one for six. For Mr ‘Long Time’ they need to realise that it is not a Test, they have a duty to their team to keep the score ticking over. This may be rotating the strike, or it may be accelerating after getting your eye in. This is of course easier to judge when batting second – you can see where you have to get to. But even batting first you need to be aware of how you will make runs at a decent rate. Scoring 50 not out of off 120 balls, taking half  the balls of your teams innings may be good for your individual figures but it may also mean that you are skilfully batting your team to defeat. A slower mistake than swishing across the line to a straight one but sometime just as costly. Both extremes need to be avoided.

But I digress,  Dave starts to do what Dave does and the run rate kicks on nicely. In the twentieth over, he really hits out, including a couple of sixes. With just one more ball to go before the drinks break, we are back up to the run rate needed, only one wicket down and things are looking good. Dave then proceeds to swish across the line to a straight one and is bowled……..

Reflecting on this in the drinks break, Dave has whacked a quick 41 off about 20 balls getting us back to needing about 6 an over. Would have preferred him to carry on a bit longer but a mighty effort. I need to play my part by keeping the score ticking along. I am helped in this by Alex, the next bat. A young lad but maturing into a capable batsman, who played an excellent game, blocking the good ones, taking the singles on offer and smashing the bad balls to the boundary. In this fashion we are closing in to the end game. Some overs going for not many, some going big but overall keeping close to the run a ball needed rate. My only worry is that we never get a couple of overs to get ahead of the rate and as we get to the final lap are met by some good bowling, particularly from Adam Clifford. Not lightening fast but fast enough; and accurate on length and line making it hard to get any ball away.  This game was going to the wire, we were slightly behind the rate and with wickets in the bank risks needed to be taken. Because of this I decided to push it with the running and called Alex through for a second run. If there was a clean pick up and accurate throw I know I would be in trouble – and trouble there was and off I trotted in the 34 over……

In this gamble I had given away the ‘two set batsmen’ advantage and the next few batsmen that came in fell in a clatter of wickets. No opprobrium is attached to this, they were looking to score and win rather than save their own wickets. Far better to lose trying to win than lose with a whimper. The game went to the last ball but sadly we came up 4 runs short.

However, it was an enjoyable day, a game of swings and roundabouts which was in doubt to the very last ball. Four youngsters from the club were blooded into adult cricket in a tense and close game. In fact 5 were, as there was a Winton Youngster, Charlie, playing for the Suttoners – his dad has links with them so they are playing with the Suttoners. Charlie came on to bowl at the death and held his nerve in a tight situation. I Would also like to thank the Suttoners 2s team for a good game. On the pitch they were competitive but friendly – just as it should be at this level.

Match scorecard

Inquest – Why did we lose?

Firstly, have got to say the opponents had something to do with it – they played well. But where could we improve? Can I blame Dave for swishing across the line? After getting 41 that would be a bit churlish. Should I blame myself for the bad decision for the second run? Well, it turned out to be a bad decision but I did bat most of the innings and get my team in sight of the winning post, so will give myself a break. No, I am going to point my finger elsewhere, specifically at our fielding.  When we batted, the Suttoners were on it all through the innings, from start to finish, they gave us nothing. Our fielding by contrast was lacklustre. More than once a fielder let the ball go through them because they could not be bothered to get down and get their body behind the ball, turning quite a few singles into 4s or 3s. A few times their bats could drop the ball into the ring and get through for a quick single. The fact that these runs were not highly risky means that our fielders had gone to deep or were not walking in, on their toes. At points there was a lack on energy and focus on the field from some players and we must have given away at least 20 runs because of this. This was the difference between losing by 4 runs and celebrating victory with a few overs to spare. I usually say that talk on the field should always be positive. But in this case I will make an exception and tell the team that if they see a team mate giving runs away due to laziness or can’t be bothered attitude then they can tell them that it is not ok. Mistakes I can accept, not bothering in a competitive environment? Nope, you should not be there if you are not willing to give it your all.  

 

‘Champagne Moment’  

This is a hard one to award – as I am going to award it to myself for getting a 50. Now, you may be thinking, a 50, not that big a deal. But, as some people reading this are aware, I only first picked up a cricket bat just over three years ago, in a spirit of setting myself a challenge and seeing if this old dog could learn new tricks. One thing I have learnt is playing cricket is not easy, it’s really not. In this blog I usually do a very English line of self depreciating humour but just this once I am going to say ‘yay me’, a first ever 50 is worth acknowledging. OK, we all know how the cricketing gods work and for the rest of the season they will be kicking me up the arse and laughing about it but for this game, I done good.

Winton Round Up

How did the other teams do? Well, the 1s get hit by a heavy dose of ‘bank holiday weekenditis’ and had to go out with quite a few key players missing, going down to a defeat. The 2s got off to a winning start in a high scoring game. During the course of the day they lost a couple of players and ended up fielding with 9 men but the 300 they scored in the first innings saw them through. The 3s went down to what seemed like a fairly strong side and the 4s set off the Dorset campaign with a victory against Rolex. A team which plays on Winton’s pitches so a bit of a derby and therefore nice to win.

Div 6a round up

Well, as it’s the first week all that can be said is that half the teams won and half lost, no real conclusions to be drawn there. The game of the week may by Mudeford 2s V 3s a high scoring game that the 2s came out (perhaps unsurprisingly) on top. Two conclusions can be drawn from this game. The first is Mudeford seem to have produced a decent batting pitch. Second, in scoring 300 from 40 overs their 2s  seem to have some decent bats who are starting  off to the season in very good form. Wouldn’t want to be the mugs who plays them next. Who are we playing next week again? Oh ffs……….

 

 

Being A Captain Is Bloody Hard Work…..

So, first game of the season – hurrah! A friendly against Bournemouth, This is also a ‘proper’ friendly as over the winter I was playing in the same indoor team as the opposition captain and both the teams in this game would have plenty of youngsters. In light of this I did not pick what probably would be our two best (adult) bats. I also told the opposition captain that my best bowler, who he was aware was too good for this level, would bowl a minimal amount of overs.

During the week, the weather report could not make its mind up as to if it would rain on the Saturday or not. But the morning dawned, well, rather cloudy, but very not wet, so good news. Offset by the bad news that I has a player drop out due to injury….. So, I put out ‘da word’ that I needed another player and hoped…… Luckily, there was someone available, not a bowler though and it was a bowler I lost. This fact would lead me to having to make a momentous decision during the game.

I get to the ground early as I said that I would give a hand laying out the pitches. This game was to be on astro though, as the Winton Oval (the Home of Cricket™) will be very busy during the summer and this was the last week of preparation. Both teams start to arrive and the toss is duly made, with the bad guys winning the toss and electing to bowl. Which is nice as I would have had a bat anyhow.  As I was opening the batting I went and got padded up and strode out onto the ground to meet my opening partner. Who was nowhere to be seen…. Apparently he did not have his whites at the ground and was wearing the wrong trousers and had to pop home to get the correct pair.

Attila 10 minutes before the start of the game

So after a quick re-jig of the batting order the game is on. The astro has recently been relayed so has a good even bounce and as it is on the very end of the square there is a very short boundary. Because of this I had a mental note that at least 200 was needed to be competitive. How did we do? Well, we scored at a decent pace, keeping up to about 5 an over but regularly lost wickets. We had several players that got decent starts but did not then go on to dominate. This led to us being all out for 162 after 34 overs. Somewhat short of my imagined target. Still, 162 of your actual cricket runs is not to be completely sniffed at and is a target to defend.

Had a bit of learning for me as a newly minted captain. Before the game started, I had spent loads of mental energy worrying about sorting the pitch, boundary, was everyone going to turn up? Could a player find his trousers? Who was going to bat when and would they be happy with it? That by the time I went out to open the batting I was just not in the zone. I couldn’t concentrate or get my feet moving and was completely unfocused. So it may be that in the future, particularly at home games where you have more to worry about as a captain that I drop down the order. We shall see……

Going out to defend the 162 we would have to bowl tightly as it was only four an over needed. Our performance was a bit of a curate’s egg though. Some very good bowling was mixed in with bowling that the individuals concerned would I think agree was a bit wayward. This meant that Bournemouth were managing to keep up with the run rate on extras rather than hitting runs themselves. The bats were careful and not giving their wickets away but they did not really need to try and push on so things were going ok for them. What was frustrating though was an inability of the fielders to take catches. Over the course of the game we missed 3 chances that should have been bolted on but were put down and many other chances that could have been taken as well. What is the opposite of catches win matches?

Still, Bournemouth, even with all this extra help they were getting, were still only keeping at the required run rate and after giving my 4 bowlers a run out I had to make up more overs due to the fifth bowler dropping out. This I did by splitting these overs between my boy and myself. My boy is really far too good to bowl at this level but the overs needed to be done. I was a bit worried that his radar may be of as he had not bowled for months (a focus on GCSEs) but he clicked in to a groove. He has decent pace, swing and very good bounce (my little boy is now 6’2). The only runs that came off of him were when it flew through the slips area, something that happened fairly frequently with nothing going to hand. So far, so as to be expected. The truly surprising thing though was happening at the other end, where I was bowling. In my 4 overs I only went for 6 runs with a couple of easy catches put down as well as top edges and false shots. I think there are a couple of reasons for this. The first is I was bowling against younger lads who would never have faced such slow and loopy bowling and weren’t quite sure what to make of it. As there was no pace on the ball to get it away it had to be hit hard, which is something they struggles with being quite young. The final reason is the frankly unbelievable bit though. I managed to send down 4 overs that were accurate, good length and line, with dip and even a touch of spin of off the straight. Yes, yes, I know it sounds like I am making up nonsense on my blog about myself but there were even independent witnesses and everything. So, these 8 overs altogether went for only 16 runs with the asking rate creeping up.

I now had a momentous decision to make, as I had made up the 8 overs needed. Carry on as things were going to force a win or give the other bowlers their full allocation. I could not in all conscience continue to bowl my boy; in a friendly against this team his level was just too high. I could justifiably continue myself though, as no one could ever accuse me of being ‘to good at cricket’ which would keep one end pinned down. I decided against this though as it was a friendly and the slightly wayward bowlers could do with getting into the swing for the season. This meant that although there was some decent bowling the scoring rate did creep up until Bournemouth managed what I can nobly and magnanimously say was an underserved and lucky win that I am not upset about at all……..

The Winton Captain being not bothered by the result

So, was it a useful game? I think absolutely for all involved. Especially for the younger players in both teams that are stepping up into adult cricket. So would like to say welcome to Jacob, Jamie, Sam, Aarav and Alex to the team and adult cricket, I look forward to playing with you this season. Also  congrats to Aarav and Alex for their first wickets in adult cricket.  A possibly even bigger congratulations to Andy for his first wicket in about 30 years….(no exaggeration…..) I believe this is because he has not playing in three decades rather than being somewhat unsuccessful season after season, but hey, back on the horse. Also to Will, his first game in close on two decades and top scores in the game at faster than a run a ball, like riding a bike eh?

I will close this match report with a completely new and original idea I have had called ‘The Champagne Moment’. Each week I will choose an incident in the pitch worthy of celebration and respect. To be completely clear, no Champagne will be used in the celebrating of this award. The award this week goes to John Woodage, a veteran of even greater years and greyer beard than me. A firmly struck ball that was only a little uppish look like it was flying through the covers for a 4. John threw himself downwards and to the left like Jonty Rhodes on amphetamines to pluck the ball out of the air one handed. An impressive feat and one worthy of celebrating.

 Right, enough dwelling on a meaningless game the result  which is in no way important or anyone cares about. Onto more important things, an away game against a team that I think may be one of the stronger in the division. Oh, on a bank holiday weekend, which usually means two things. 1. it pays havoc with player availability and 2. It is more or less guaranteed to rain, ah, don’t ya just love cricket……

Match Scorecard

 

 

 

I Am A Cricketing God!

For the past few weeks I have been attending pre season nets. I enjoy nets before the season starts for two reasons.

The first is that I do find the hour or two in the nets fun. The kinetic feedback you get when you middle a ball is a pleasure in itself; outside any competitive performance you could take pleasure in during a game. Middling a ball feels good. Also, bowling in nets is also good exercise. Not ‘I’m in training to do a marathon’ levels of exercise but you do feel achy and tired by the end of the session and get those physical exercise endorphins kicking off. I always come away from a net session thinking ‘yeah, that was fun’.

The main reason I enjoy nets before the start of the season though is that in the nets, I am fucking awesome at cricket! Completely unstoppable, batting, every ball I middle for a 4, my bowling is full of guile and skill; every other ball would take a wicket. As there are as yet no games being played, I can luxuriate in the unlimited possibilities that the season may bring, safe in the confidence that my performance level at the moment is so high I am considering entering myself in the next IPL draft. OK yes, lurking in the dark recesses of my mind is the knowledge that the fantasy of my cricketing brilliance will shortly meet the brutal inswinging yorker of reality but for a few short weeks I can ignore that and dream.

My cricketing psyche after a successful net session

But for not too much longer though, as the season is nearly upon us. Who will we be playing? Well, the way Hampshire are organising the lower leagues has changed. It used to be large leagues of about 18 with everyone playing each other once. Now they are leagues half the size with everyone playing home and away. The main argument in favour of this is that it means all the teams are closer together geographically so there are shorter journeys to away games; which is good. A down side for me though is that we are no longer playing at some of the more interesting and picturesque grounds in the forest, which is a shame. I do remember reading that the people arguing for this also said that it would mean that we would no longer have to have 2 teams from the same club in the same league as there would be another league very close by so the teams could be split up. So, who will we be playing?

 Hants League Division 6A

This league covers the area from Bournemouth into the south west of the New Forest with a decent mix of teams. Although what is this I notice? Mudeford has two teams in this league? Oh FFS. Not complaining about Mudeford, sure they are lovely guys. But whoever decided who would go in which league, why make this decision? Perhaps they were no other teams close enough and they had to put teams from the same club together? But checking the 6B league, there are two clubs based in Ringwood and another in Ferndown that could be swapped with a Mudeford team and no one would have batted an eyelid. So am slightly annoyed.

Never mind though, who do I think will be chasing promotion? Hard to tell this year really as there are a lot of teams that seems quite similar to us, the clubs 4^th or 5^th team. I am guessing that Mudeford 2s will be a force, as they came close to promotion last year and as they now have a third team the weaker players will be in. Remember playing Suttoners 2s at the end of last season and they seemed pretty decent but who knows? Be interesting to see how it pans out.

But, you ask, how do I see Winton Dev Team doing this year? Well, am setting a target of mid table. Think we have enough in the squad to pick up a decent number of wins. If we are at the top of the table though, this will mean we have some players doing very well and perhaps should be looking to play for a higher ranked team within the club. Remember, the aim of this team is not to get promoted, but to develop individuals so they can play higher up the leagues. If we had a standout season and got promoted this would be a problem as next year we would lose the better players and be in a higher league. So, aiming for a mid table finish it is.

Before we start out on the long hard road of league games, we do have a friendly. This is against Bournemouth 6^th Team. An ideal friendly in many ways for both teams, as they are similar, made up of the ‘to young and to old’ and hoping to develop younger players. This Bournemouth team will be playing in Dorset so we will not meet them in the league – so much the better.

However, it is good to report that the opposition is already running scared. Talking to their captain he said the team was him, a few other dads and a lot of youngsters and he then asked me to go easy on them. It is just a friendly and more about clearing out cobwebs then trying to win, so it will be good to have a relaxed game to get into the swing of things without worrying about a win.

If you are playing in the Winton Development Team or have children that will do so, please ignore the above sentiment. It is the sort of thing that I feel obliged to say. Also, If in any game I talk about ‘don’t worry about the win, just make sure you enjoy yourself’, please be aware that I am just saying that to make myself look relaxed and unbothered and please ignore me completely. So, you ask, what is our aim?  I can answer in one word: it is victory, victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory, however long and hard the road may be, for without victory there is no feeling of petty smugness you may get at winning a Hampshire League Division 6 cricket game.

How is the team to be organised? Well, I have asked most people what they feel their strengths are and trying to match their role with that. This is especially true for the youngsters. I will try and make sure they have a regularity of position in the team. So if they are developing as a bat, I aim to keep them in the same batting slot. If they are more a bowler, then make sure they bowl every week, which will of course mean they will bat down the order. The possible problem with this is a lot of youngsters still like to bat and bowl but playing with adults is a big step up, having to learn how to deal with adults. So I want to keep their role in the team consistent so they do not have to worry about changing from week to week. If they want to continue to bat and bowl, that is what age group cricket is for. If they mainly bowl in adult games they can make sure to get to bat in age group cricket (and vice versa).

So, a few net sessions done, feeling confident, squad is sorted, friendly organised to help prepare, good to go. So, what’s the weather forecast for the game tomorrow? Oh, ffs………..

 

 

 

 

Aye Aye, Captain

Hello again, a new season, a new start for the greatest cricketing blog in the world, but probably the same old jokes. The blog petered out in the indoor season, a lack of umph. So, first question, how did the Bournemouth Gentlemen Pensioners do in the Indoor League?  Well, a solid mid table finish, which is a distinct improvement from the year before and something to be happy with, we were indeed only 5 points off of third.

 Indoor League Result

OK, it could be pointed out that two of our five wins were because the opponents conceded but that would be a very uncharitable thing to do………

 A new Season, a new challenge........ 

However, now it’s a new summer season and return to ‘proper’ cricket. My teammates of the winter become my enemies of the summer as I return to play for Bournemouth’s largest and most successful club. If anyone wants to tell me that that isn’t Winton you will have to tell me what club you think is bigger and more successful, remember – only clubs based in Bournemouth count…….

 But wait, astounding news!

This year I will be captaining the Winton Development Team! How did I manage to land such an honoured and important roll you ask? Well, at least anyone reading this that does not know how club cricket works may ask this, everyone else will know the drill. But for those of you that don’t, there are a few steps you have to go through to be honoured with the role of captain:

1.       Whoever captained last year says they do not want to do it again

2.       To qualify you must be an adult that can probably pitch up to most games

3.       Express a vague sentiment that you might be willing to consider taking on the captains role

4.       Everyone else that could conceivably do it punches the air in delight that some other mug put their head above the parapet  first

5.       Get texts from these other people congratulating you and promising their ‘full support’

6.       Er, that’s it

Still, being a team captain in cricket is different than most sports. In football for instance, being captain means wearing an armband, shaking hands once and at the toss of a coin deciding which direction you want to kick the ball in the first half. In cricket though, the team captain takes on the role that would be the manager’s job in football, making decisions about tactics and the role of players. In cricket, after the handshake and coin toss, the decision to bat or bowl first is important. Who to bowl and when, where to set the field, all this does materially affect the game. No, not just a figurehead, the captain in a cricket team is more a general, strategically deciding how to use the resources they have to gain victory. Ah, the power, oh, the responsibility.

 

 Napoleon at the Austerlitz Oval Considering Putting in a Gully and Third Slip

As a newbie to all this though, I thought I would do some research and learning. Being in London a few days ago I popped into the British Library which had a copy of the ultra rare book

Lord Softdingles Guide To Perfection In The Art Of Cricket Captaincy As Approved By the MCC

 

 Digging out my pencil (as pens are not allowed in the Library) I took copious notes, which are distilled below. This is the advice from the greatest cricketing minds in history as to what the most important parts of the captains role are.

 

·         Try and get eleven players on the field for each game. You can play with less but this is usually seen to be a sub optimal strategy. This can be difficult as cricket takes a full day at the weekends in the summer. If you are also one of your clubs lower teams, be prepared for other team captains to come and nick your players without so much as a by your leave whenever they feel like it.

·         Make sure all your players have a lift to away games; this is particularly a challenge if your team has a few U18 players.

·         If you have a player performing particularly well, remember to talk them down at every opportunity to the captains of the other teams as if you are not careful they will pounce and nick your best players.  Phrases such as ‘not sure they are ready to step up a level’ and ‘be good for them to keep building confidence before taking on a new challenge’ will come in very handy.

·         You need to keep your players happy with their role in the team. This can be tricky as people are not completely honest about what they want. So a few phrases to look out for and what they actually mean. ‘I’m a bowling all rounder’ – means ‘I want to open the bowling and bat at 4’. ‘I don’t mind where you use me’ – means ‘I want to open the batting and bowl 10 overs through the middle of the innings’.  ‘I’m not very good at cricket’ – means ‘I’m not very good at cricket but know you are desperate’ (see the first point above). Best thing to do with this player, as they have to have a game, don’t bowl them, let them bat at 7 and hope they get out quickly. If this player is you, remember you are the captain so you can open the batting and also bring yourself on to bowl at the opposition tail to pick up a few easy cheap wickets.

·         Remember, you have to make sure the scores are recorded and put online, complete match and pitch reports and fill out other forms. Being a captain basically means you have volunteered to take on loads of unpaid admin work, suck it up sucker!

·         All that nonsense about strategic decision making? Everyone does the same thing so basically copy them. So, if you win the toss bat first unless there is a good reason not to. When in the field, start with your two fastest bowlers, a slip or two and a ring field. During the innings, bring in your other bowlers while gradually dropping more fielders to the boundary. Make sure your two best performing bowlers have a few overs left to bowl at the death.

·         If any fielder takes a catch mutter a bit about how field placement is important to try and claim some credit rather than admit it is luck and coincidence.

I have the distilled wisdom of hundreds of years of cricketing wisdom to guide me. What could possibly go wrong? So, that is me set up for the season, which will be upon us very soon. In the next few days I will be uploading an overview of my teams division and season and a preview of our first game, which is a friendly this weekend – so keep an eye out for them.

Finally a plea, as a new captain I need advice. If anyone has any inspiring phrases that can be used in team talks, on the pitch or to individuals it would be good to hear. Anything that you have heard, said or have had said to you, please share. Any that are truly inspiring, motivational, funny are just complete nonsense I will share with my worldwide audience of thousands………

 

 Fear the Blue Thumb!

No, that's not a euphemism 

Bournemouth F v Ferndown Strollers

I remember in the write up of the last game I complained that the game was being held late on a weekday evening. I have now decided that late on a Sunday evening is even worse, as it destroys my Sunday routine. By this time in the evening I should have had a roast dinner, with a glass of St. Emilion. This should then be followed by a prolonged bout of sitting in a comfy chair, with such things as a trifle and perhaps a coffee featuring. I could do none of these things on this day, as if I did it would have been touch and go for getting out of said comfy chair to Hurn. Even if I had managed to get there, my ability for sporting endeavour would have been even lower than usual. So, no roast, Bordeaux or multiple layered desert for me…..

The team is:

Dave*

Cricketing God

Weirdly the Wife

Quick Single

Argh Me Back

Mr Hoopy

(*The cricketer formerly known as ‘Ballerina’ )

So, some people in, some out but a decent team.

 We rock up to the Indoor Centre and cast our eye over the opposition – Ferndown Strollers. This does not seem to be a club, more a group of friends getting together to play, very much like us, which is good. On the down side they are somewhat younger than us, by er, several decades, this could be a challenge.

The opposition win the toss and elect to bat and score 165, which is a very decent score. We did not bowl particularly badly, but not particularly well either – just ‘o.k.’ They also batted fairly well without dominating. Putting together ok bowling and decent batting amounts to a very decent score, keeping it ticking over at an ok scoring rate with a few overs where they scored big. We also only took one wicket, which does not help in keeping the scoring down. The wicket – a stumping -  was a bit contentious, with the bat looking upset at being given. Even the wicket keeper looked surprised. As the bowler though, with my vantage point of being 20 yards away, straight on and not even being able to see the crease, I can state categorically that it was out……  

I also missed out on another wicket – a dropped catch. It was hit very hard and popped in then out. Weirdly gave the excuse that it hit the tip of his thumb. Knowing just how much this can hurt I asked if he was ok and he said fine and we carried on. The next day however.....

 

 Sod me, that must have hurt

Got to give full marks for stoicism, as that must of hurt like a bastard when it happened but he did not flinch. I think I would have personally been swearing my head off.

So, onto our innings. The headline being all out for 105, which was a bit disappointing. For most of the innings we scored at an all right pace which meant it might have been a thrilling end but we also lost wickets too regularly. Like their battling, the Ferndown strollers bowling was pretty decent, without being amazing.  It seems pretty decent is more than good enough to put paid to the Bournemouth Gentlemen Pensioners. The last wicket was a bit frustrating though. It should have been an easy run out at the bowlers end but the first time the bowler went to take the bails he missed. By the second I thought the batter had made his ground, wasn’t sure though. But I did see that the umpire was still trying to get a view and had his back turned.  

I was thinking, ‘If you can’t see it, you can’t give it’. But after a quick chat with the other umpire it was given out, not how I would have done it. Still, it does not matter too much as we still had 60 to make with only the one wicket remaining, so it wasn’t going to happen.

I learnt a lesson for my own indoor batting though. I have work out a method for indoor batting that is effective enough. Being a leftie, bowlers usually come around the wicket to me. So I take a guard on off stump and get forward and even more across and look to play it around the corner. This is effective because anything outside off I can get legside, if I can’t there is a good chance it will be called wide. If I miss it I make sure my pad is in the way as it will be outside the line. Anything that is pitching in line I will look to leave as the angle will take it past the leg stump for three wides, thanks very much. If they bowl over the wicket, I take a guard on middle and do similar. This comes with an increased risk of lbw but still works well enough. However, I was facing a slow left arm bowler who was bowling over the wicket and I still had a ‘play it to leg’ mind set on. He tossed up a slow loopy one that I played all around and got out lbw when it hit my foot. So my learning is this – sometimes it’s appropriate to take a step forward and just leather the shit out of it. Which is a nice realisation to have. 

A game I enjoyed, played in a good spirit, always more enjoyable when you win but such is life.

Match Scorecard

So, where are we up to in the season?

Dominating the league as champions

Making a push for promotion

Mid table mediocrity

Fighting our way out of the bottom

Doomed to ignominy  

 

Won two, lost two, nothing if not average. We are towards the bottom of average (6^th out of 9) due to low batting and bowling points, but it is the wins and losses that will decide things.

 

 How Rubbish Is The ECB?

Let us count the ways

Cricket in England is dying on its arse. I work as a primary school teacher as a ‘supply’ teacher, which means I go into a lot of schools. Most don’t even have cricket equipment – there may be one dust covered, lonely looking cricket bat at the back of the sports cupboard that has not been picked up since 1987 but other than that, nada. In secondary schools they may get the nets out in the summer term, but the sports hall is then used for exams from May so that is only for a few weeks. This is the main (but not only) reason that you have to go to Private School to have a realistic chance to be a professional cricketer in England. Most children in England don’t think cricket is boring - cricket does not impinge on their consciousness enough for them to take a view of if it at all. Not being able to watch cricket on the telly really doesn’t help with gaining peoples interest. When I walk around green spaces and parks in the Bournemouth area I have noticed a few that have what used to be a cricket square in the middle of them – but no longer. When I talk to people that have played cricket in this area for a couple of decades they can reel off the names of many clubs that no longer exist, as far fewer people play cricket now that even twenty years ago. The ECB is responsible for this as it is their job to grow and promote cricket. So, what incompetence can be pointed to on behalf of the ECB?

 1. They don’t know when summer is. Which for an organisation that runs a summer sport, is pretty rubbish.

Don’t be silly you say, of course the people that run the ECB know when the summer is, everyone does, its June, July and August. Well quite, so why was the first game of the season scheduled for the 5^th April and the last for 30^th September? I’m glad you asked, the answer of course being that there is too much cricket scheduled and with the summer being reserved for the 20/20 and 100 tournaments anything else is pushed to the side. So what does this mean for the professional game in England?

Well first up, it means that the County Championship is treated with ‘don’t care about it’ contempt by the organisation that is supposed to organise and grow it. Out of a 1^st Division team’s 14 games, 4 were in April, 3 in May and 3 in September. If you organise a game of cricket in April in England this can only be with the understanding that you accept there is a good chance it will not happen. May is a bit better but not summer; and the end of September? Again that comes with a ‘well, if we are lucky it might happen,’ attitude. Only 4 of the 14 games are in the summer. This means on a good year hopefully not too many games will be rained off, a normal year approaching half? A bad year you may need to only win two or three games to win the championship. The ECB, on their website and in documents probably talk about their commitment to the championship but judging them by actions rather than words and it is clear the only thing they really want to give the championship is the middle finger. Likewise, the one day cup final was scheduled for the 22^nd September. It would only take a rainy week (a decent chance of which could happen at the end of September) for the final not to happen. I’m not sure what the plans for resolving the cup final the ECB have in this situation, a coin toss? Rock paper scissors? Do they even know? 

So, how did we get to this situation? Well, it is because there is too much cricket planned for a too short summer. This is so obvious that you do not even need something like a report from the Professional Cricketers Association to spell it out. You may not need one, but it does exist anyhow

PCA Report claiming to much cricket is played

So, how did we get here? Well, until a few years ago there were 3 competitions, the County Championship, the One Day Cup and the 20/20 Blast, which all fitted around each other. But it was then decided that these weren’t exciting enough so a new event was launched – the 100. It was decided for the 100 to work the month of August had to be cleared for it, which is a decision that could be argued against but I can also see arguments in its favour. But here is the moronic, craven bit. The people making this decision, instead of saying what existing competition would be got rid of, or how the existing competitions may be curtailed, or doing something responsible and realistic like that took another route. They went with the idea of keeping the existing competitions but just playing them at times of the year that were not really suitable for playing cricket. Hmm, what could possibly go wrong?

So, we are now at a situation where something will have to give, probably sooner rather than later. Which competition could be got rid of? Well, the obvious candidate from a financial perspective is the county championship; it takes an awful lot of resources and brings in relatively little revenue. Even though I enjoy going to watch championship games, I can see the force of the arguments here. As I enjoy going to championship games precisely because they are quiet, so I can spend a day with my boy getting away from it all. Going to the Rose Bowl for a championship game is relaxing. If you want to sit behind the bowlers arm there is a little bit of a crowd, but if you want to get away from people you can go elsewhere and have a whole block of seating to yourself.  The cricket is also of a decent standard, Hampshire have a very passable seam attack. If batting, you get to watch James Vince scoring a stylish 38 before giving it away wafting outside off stump like a latter day, budget David Gower. So this makes it a pleasant day out for me, even though there are very few other people watching. However, there are good reasons to not get rid of the county championship. Firstly, England Cricket is still organised around the county system, and the championship is sort of their raison d’être. Also, while test cricket is still being played you need to give a pathway to players towards it. Scoring a cheeky quick 50 for the Southern Pom Bears not really being good preparation for facing a battery of Aussie quicks on Boxing Day in Melbourne. So, the championship stays.

Next up, it is obvious that the One Day Cup is ripe to go – the One Day format having been killed by 20/20. Gone are the days of multiple one day competitions sponsored by their own brand of fags at slightly different amount of overs. Benson and Hedges – 60 overs, Nat West (ok so not fags) at 50 and JPS at the shortest innings of 40, the good ole Sunday league.

JPS,  guarantee to shorten your innings

Was never an advertising slogan for JPS, however much I think it fits.......

The thing about sacking the last one day competition is that it would not make too much of a difference. It is already a ‘county 2s’ event, made up of players that can’t get a gig in the 100 and up and coming youngsters, so you may as well keep it, it quite often isn’t even played at professional grounds, with the counties going to the big private schools to stage games. Which is nice, as it means that the players can go and say hello to their old teachers.

So that leaves either the 20/20 Blast or the 100 that have to go. Let’s face it, they occupy the same ground anyhow, short format, quick scoring, good revenue drivers. So, which to keep? On the one hand you have the format that is by far the most popular in the world, that is driving growth across the globe, has a well established world cup with a massive TV audience second only to football. On the other hand, there is the 100. So, I feel confident that the ECB will be going with the 100 then.

 I mean, there are already well advanced plans to sell it off to private investors for anything up to half a billion pounds. Just think what such an injection of funds could do for the game nationally at the grass roots, there would be a budget to attempt to reverse crickets seeming terminal decline in England. Sorry, what’s that? Not all the money would be available for investment in growing the game. Fair enough. Firstly, obviously the people that work at eh ECB driving this would need to be awarded big bonuses, and probably their mates as well. Then the Major counties would need to be compensated for their investment. So that would leave a total budget of er, bugger all, to invest in the local game across the country.

Maybe I am being too cynical. The 100 does seems to have brought in new, young blood into the game and selling it to professional companies may help to drive this growth. More young people interested, more people playing, all good for cricket. Children and families will be able to watch the game on free to air TV helping to make cricket popular again.  But what’s that? These private companies will be looking for a return on their massive investment? And the stadiums are already full so no income growth their unless you jack up ticket prices, pricing out poorer families? They could still watch it on the TV though. But if the 100 does have decent viewing figures, why would a private company not look to maximise TV revenue through making people pay to watch? From a company’s point of view, 100,000 people paying to watch is a far bigger revenue earner than 200,000 people watching for free…..

Or again, maybe I am being overly negative and pessimistic, would be interested in people telling me so and why the situation is far better than my jaundiced eye perceives and that indeed the worrying state of cricket in England is on the verge of being turned around. I have an open mind here, anyone want to pour optimism into it?