Internecine Warfare!

A Measured and Reasoned Preview

Arsenal v Tottenham, River Plate v Boca Juniors, Carlton v Collingwood, Karpov v Kasporov, Bobby v JR, RCB v CSK, Blue v Grey, The Kinslaying at Alqualondë, King v Parliament, Montmorency v Condé, Ceasar v Pompey, Stannis v Renley, Ashurbanipal v Samas-suma-ukin, my children arguing about whose fault it is. Sport, history and culture are full of rivalries that are more intense and bitter because they are local, close and in some situations family affairs. If you managed to understand all the above references you should be pleased by your breadth of knowledge, but you also need to get out more.

But there is a new rivalry that will make the above confrontations seem like minor, shallow affairs! Winton 3s v Winton Development Team! Did you not feel the foundations of the earth tremble at just the naming of the clash? A confrontation so raw, so unmitigated that it holds the possibility to redefine our concept of sporting rivalry. Before the game, both captains have irresponsibly been throwing fuel onto the fire, to the extent that I hope both teams can control their emotions and tempers.

The Kapils captain threw down the gauntlet of combat by roaring ‘It should be a good chance for the younger lads to measure themselves against more senior members of the club’. Upon hearing this, the 3s captain hit back by saying, ‘yeah, it should be a good game if the weather holds out’.

With both teams’ captains so deliberately stoking the flames, I contacted the police to check their plans for managing such a potentially dangerous situation.

There official response was ‘what on earth are you talking about?’ Following subsequent enquiries they also said ‘stop bothering me’ and ‘you do know it is a criminal offense to waste police time?’ I only hope that they do not come to regret such a laissez faire attitude if it all kicks off.   

There is also the very fair question of; should a club be allowed two teams in the same competition? I do not believe that that it is allowed in higher divisions, whereas in this division not one, but two clubs are represented by two teams. I also think it is fair to say that these clubs are aiming to get one of their teams promoted (indeed they at the moment occupy first and second place). So could they not collude in an interclub game and ‘rig it’ to make sure that the ‘promotion aiming’ team wins and get good points? I would say theoretically this is possible but practically no. Any such ‘rigging’ is done at team selection, with the stronger players playing in the stronger team, but that is the same as every other game in the season, the 3s have stronger players than the 5s, that’s kind of the point.

But would the players in the ‘lower’ team deliberately lose? That would be an emphatic no. If the team captain tossed me the ball and asked me to bowl in a way that was easy to whack to the boundary, how would I respond? (Ignoring my boy’s harsh but quite possibly fair comment about that is how I always bowl anyhow). Well, my verbal response would be short, pithy and probably end in the adverb ‘off’. Nobody is going to deliberately do badly. Same with batting, no one would bat in such a way that they are trying to get out (yup, for those that have seen my batting, thanks for the sarcastic comments). There is no such thing as a friendly in cricket, everyone   strives to win. With the added bonus for the youngsters in the team that it is a good opportunity to make a name for themselves in the club. Take a fifer to win the game and they may find themselves playing for the 3s the week after.

So, how do I think that the game will go? Well, the 3s have to be the strong favourites, just by looking at the league positions this seems to be fair comment. But strange things do happen in sport, a couple of players can have a ‘day out’ and all of a sudden the fixture can be turned on its head. The USA did beat Pakistan, it can happen. The game is a ‘free hit’ for the Kapils, what’s the worst that could happen? For the threes though, a bit of extra pressure, imagine losing to your clubs Dads and lads………