Cricket, Like War, Can Be Hell

And what horrors will we see in Nomansland?

The hardest thing I find about cricket is when you make a mistake or do badly, as there is no hiding. In football, if you make a bad pass, usually other things have to happen for that to be turned into a goal. In cricket though, get whacked for a 6, make a mistake in the field leading to giving away runs and that is on you. It’s not so much the feeling of not doing well personally, it’s more the feeling of letting team mates down. Calling it hell though is of course hyperbole. For the youngsters, it is a good way to learn to process difficult emotions in what should be a supportive atmosphere. For grownups, there is of course beer.

This weekend’s game is against Bramshaw 3s. A team that have won 2 and lost one so far this season. How are we going to do? Buggered if I know to be honest. The game they lost was against a team we have also managed to lose to. So could be a close game? The Kapils have already developed this season and I think it is fair to say that their bowling has been more than up to snuff. The batting has improved but has still not shined. Which hopefully will be put right this weekend, as we do have some bats that can be highly destructive. What we are looking for is for one of our better batsmen to properly fire, back up by the rest of the team, if that happens, an opposition team could be on the end of a hard time in the field. Will it happen this weekend? Let’s be optimistic and say hell yeah!

Would like to say that I am impressed with Bramshaw’s website, someone puts a lot of work into it, so kudos to you. From it I learn that the pitch at Nomansland. On the village green, was first in use in 1926, has a shed load of quirkiness going on and excellent views across the forest. I have never been there before but a day out in a beautiful setting on an historic pitch is one of the major reasons I enjoy cricket so much, so am looking forward to it.

Elsewhere in the league I am pleased to report there are only 4 teams to not record a win, and as two of them are playing each other that will reduce even further. There are also only 4 teams to have won all their games, it will be interesting to see if they can carry that on; how long can the longest winning streak go for?

 

Hants Div 6 SW Match Day 3 Round up

 

Hants Div 6 SW
Match Day 3 Round up

Bugger me, Parley have actually played a game!

After having to sit out for two weeks in a row in what has been pretty decent cricketing weather, Parley 3s actually got to play a game this week, chalking up a victory with 21 points. Winton 3s remain the early pace makers though, notching up another 24 pointer. A record of 23 points, 24 points and another 24 is starting to look ominous for the other teams due to play them. Bournemouth 4s and Godshill are the only other two teams with a three out of three record, settling in to joint second with a 22.3 average. Bournemouth 5s slide into fifth place with their outrageously lucky and undeserved win.

At the other end of the table Lyndhurst get their first win with a thumping 24 pointer and Ferndown 4s go shooting up the table as well with 22 points in their first win.

Can we yet say that the table is taking shape, with the top middle and bottom forming leagues within the division or has some team so far undersold itself and is waiting to rise? Or indeed has any team in the top third over performed so far and is ready to take a tumble?

Week 3 table

 

You Could Say That Cricket Is the Winner

But if you did, I might just kick you in the knackers

A quintessential English scene: a green oval in a park surrounded by trees, the sun slowly going down over the pavilion, the smell of skunk gently wafting over the outfield. 13 people dressed in white, seemingly standing at random around the field, everyone’s attention furiously fixed on what, to a casual observer, appears to be absolutely nothing. So far, this is just a cliché of nostalgia for a merrie old England that probably never existed anyway.

Look closer though and you will discover you have stumbled over a sporting contest of high drama. The last over, 6 balls with six runs needed to win, 8 wickets down, this one could go either way. This may not be professional sport, but the intensity of the contest and emotion is still there. However, before we discover how the story unfolds, we need to answer the question; how did we get here?

A few days before, the club are struggling for numbers, with more senior team scrambling for players – bank holiday weekend and all. So a couple of people in the Kapils are asked if they want to play for the 2s. My boy being one, this saddens me, as what father doesn’t want to play with his son? He takes it with a philosophical shrug though, happy to help out the club, and still in a lower league than he was playing last year so can take it in his stride. This does however leave the Kapils in a quandary, searching for players. We do get a full team out, but with the possibility of some people having to leave early.

So, the teams gather, some people on either side know each other so the greetings are friendly. It is a warm but not hot day with a bit of cloud cover, the Winton captain keen to bowl first to take advantage of the hard shiny ball (at this level of cricket, the same ball is used in both innings). We promptly lose the toss and get put into bat…………

It is, by a long way, the Kapils best batting performance of the season so far though. First game, we started well before collapsing to just over a hundred. Second game, we got our collapse in early before recovering to just over a hundred. This game, we started solidly against a moving new ball, before consolidating and accelerating through the middle overs. The bulk of the work here being done by Z Stainer-Reid and J Lee for a partnership of over 60; the maturity of their batting belying their young age. With 8 overs to go there were seven wickets in hand, time for the final assault. Due to some good bowling from Bournemouth this did not go completely to plan, with wickets falling regularly in the last few overs. Still, 158 is by far our best score of the season and represented a competitive total, not crushing but ‘in the game’.

The score was mainly driven by the youngsters in the team. One particular piece of praise I would like to give is their attitude in the final overs. When needed they hit out, trying to push the score on rather than preserve their wickets. Even when they got out it was the correct decision, showing a maturity and willingness to play for the team, rather than worry about their individual average.

Notable points of the innings? Two catches and two shots. The first catch was from a well driven on drive, a bit uppish but flying towards the boundary. Mid On just turned and started running to the boundary to see if he could chase it down. As the ball went past him, he looked over his shoulder stuck out his arm with the hand facing backwards and plucked the ball out of the air. A catch, that if it was at the coming world cup, would have the commentators raving about it. The second catch was much more village. A leading edge chipped up into the air between mid wicket and square leg, an easy catch for either of them. They both sprinted forward to take, and you can guess where this story is going……..One of them actually had it in both hands a split second before they crashed into each other and went sprawling. As square leg umpire I did my best not to laugh but it was kind of hard not to. The two shots were identical, coming in the final over. Both glorious lofted straight drives, the only issue being would they be a six or one bounce four. The first landed about 30cm inside the boundary and just plugged. The batters had stopped in the middle of the wicket to chat and admire the shot and ended up having to run a single in the confusion. The second was exactly the same. So two singles instead of two boundaries, would the missing six runs play a part in the game? Of course they would…….

The defence of the total started well, with the watchwords being ‘squeeze’ and ‘scoreboard pressure’. By drinks break at 20 overs Bournemouth were scoring at less than 3 an over, nowhere near enough. Then several things happened that allowed Bournemouth back in the game. The first was that the Kapils lost two players, their time was up and they had to leave. No blame is attached here, the rest of the team are grateful that they could make it at all. Fielding with 9 is a lot harder than fielding with 11 though….. Looking back, I think it did have a mental affect as well, the fielders were quieter, there seemed to be less energy in the field and mistakes that did not happen in the first 20 overs crept in. The was compounded by one of the bats pulling out a favourite village shot – the slog to cow, with which he was very successful, scoring 66 including a brutal over for 18. When he fell in the 36 over, lbw missing a slog across the line, there was only 12 needed off of 23 balls, seemingly game over. The fall of the wicket acted as a catalyst though, Winton finding their belief, the next 17 balls going for only 6 runs with another 2 wickets to fall.

So, back to where we started, 6 balls, 6 runs needed. Both bats and the bowler were amongst the younger members of the team, who could keep their heads the best? First ball, hit away for 2, advantage Bournemouth. Second ball through to the keeper but the bats run anyhow and get a bye, very risky. Next ball, through to the keeper, the bats run anyhow and there is a run out, which leaves the game at 3 needed off 3 balls, with one wicket left. I can’t help feeling that the Bournemouth bats had gotten over excited, suicidal running not yet needed, could it cost them the game? Now only 1 wicket remaing. The number 11 though was the Bournemouth captain, an older head that might be just what his team needed. Fourth ball, 2 runs to tie the score. It was noticed that the younger bat was backing up so enthusiastically he was well out of his ground before the ball was bowled. On having this pointed out to him and that he was at risk of being run out he cheerful pointed out that he should get a warning first – with the reply being told that this was the warning. Low level cricket is just for fun but does come with a competitive attitude. Fifth ball a dot, defensive shot back to the bowler. The non striking bat though was enthusiastically scampering way down the wicket screaming ‘yes’. The batter, still in his crease, and whose enthusiastically scampering days are, to be fair, well behind him shouted a despairing noooo….’. The backing up batsman turned to try and get back in his ground, but the ball was in the bowlers hand and he was closer to the stumps, a throw – and a miss! The last ball was hit for a single to wrap up a win for Bournemouth.

A truly enjoyable game, played in a friendly but competitive spirit, I could almost say that cricket was the winner, but if I did my family would be treated to the unedifying spectacle of me trying to boot myself in the nuts, and no one wants that. But it was, for all involved, an excellent day playing sport, what more could you want? Well, to be fair, I think I would have enjoyed it even more if I had won……..

Match Scorecard

Sometimes I feel it is so much easier being a professional sportsman. People go on about great international captains but picture the scene - Nassau County International Cricket Stadium. India v Pakistan, half way through the run chase, the stadium a cauldron of noise and energy. Over a billion people watching on TV. But who is this figure that has appeared on the boundary? Its Bumrah’s older sister. And what is she saying?

 ‘Jasprit, Hey JASPRIT, you have to go now!’

His reply, ‘can I stay and bowl just one more over?’

‘No, we have to pick your sister in half an hour.’ And off indeed he does go.

Yeah Rohit, you think you have problems as captain, try dealing with that………

 

The Home of Cricket

The Winton Oval

Winton as a club play on three different grounds, all public parks. The senior two teams do not even play in Bournemouth, their ground is in Ferndown as it boasts better facilities than that are available in any Bournemouth pitch, which are a requirement for the upper echelons of the amateur leagues. The other teams though share grounds at either Slades Farm or Winton Rec. The ‘better’ pitch is considered to be at Slades Farm, as the ground at Winton does suffer from being on the ‘to small’ side of what you would wish for. I prefer playing in Winton Rec though for several reasons.

The first is that although the Slades Farm pitch is bigger, it is on a bit of a slope. Also, as a park, Slades Farm is large and open, it seems a bit windswept and a bit unwelcoming and impersonal to me. Whereas the pitch at Winton is in a part of the park that is separate off from the rest of it, in a bit of a sunken bowl surrounded by trees, which gives it a more secluded but welcoming feel. On one side of the oval there are stone steps with benches for seating which gives it a genuine amphitheatre feel. Right next to this is a café, where you can by bourgeois coffee at a decent price during the game. Twenty seconds walk away is Winton’s clubhouse where you can get a pint, very important when considering facilities for low end cricket. The ground and pitch were falling into a shabby condition. A couple of years ago though, the club took over the responsibility for maintaining the pitch from the local council and some people have put in regular hard work to improve the quality of the ground. The pitch are now are of a decent quality; it should be at least as good as those that we have played on for the last two weeks. The outfield does have the problem of being used as a public park area so is never going to be billiard smooth but at least the grass is cut regularly and there are no bald patches at all so it should get judged as ‘good enough’.

Winton Rec is also my local park that I sometimes use as a park, and where I go to play tennis (on surprisingly good quality and well maintained tennis courts), so I have a bit of an emotional attachment to it for that reason.

The last advantage that Winton Rec has over Slades Farm, for a public park, is that it has a higher quality of drug dealer. The local ‘tuff yoof’ at Slades in my experience can be a bit of a pain in the arse, riding annoying mini motorbikes and sometimes being disrespectful to other park users. At Winton Rec though, they mainly seem to sit on the benches at the top of the Oval and get a bit stoned, so aren’t a bother to anyone. Fair play to them I say.

 

There is only one thing better than beating your enemies

And that is beating your friends

This weekend’s game is against Bournemouth 5s. It should be a good competitive game as they are a team that are in many ways similar to the Kapils. Both are teams made up of a good youngsters mixed in with a bunch of has beens and never weres; each team having a good mix of youth and experience. Looking at the form guide, both teams attained solid mid table mediocrity last year, with the Kapils coming 9^th and the Fivers 12^th. This year so far they have both won one and lost one, so can’t really put a Rizla paper between them there. It seems like it will be a true ‘who performs best on the day’ type thing. Which team has the players that can step forward and do the business for them? It should unfold as an exciting contest.

What should add an extra bit of edge to it is that I am fairly certain that the youngsters in the team would be used to playing against each other in colts cricket, but also with each other on the same team for their county age group teams, so they will be desperate to do well against each other. For me, it is also a bit of an odd situation in that this Bournemouth team is the team that I first played for and indeed was on the other side of this fixture last season. So there are people in the opposition team that I like, respect and consider friends and ordinarily would wish them to do well. Not this weekend though, this weekend they are the enemy to be crushed beneath my chariot wheels. And then have a pint with afterwards.

Another factor that may have an effect on the game is the fact that it is a bank holiday weekend and the start of half term. This can be problematic for any amateur sports team as people go away for the weekend / for the week. It can be especially problematic for a lower level cricket team though because of how team selection works. If the first team is missing a couple of players they will nick some people from the 2s. Who will have to replace them from the 3s, as well as the players that they having missing anyhow, this cascading down the club. So by the time that it gets to the 5^th team, they are having their better players poached, have to deal with some of their players being away anyhow and have no team to steal people from, so it can be a bit of a scramble to get a team out.

This is the Kapils first home game of the season, so something to look forward to as it is close enough for me to walk home. Two well matched teams that may or may not be weakened by selection issues, the winners getting to push into the top quartile of the table, should be a good one. Bournemouth 5s are carrying one extra problem that the Kapils are not. They are missing their stalwart, stylish, reliable opening bat from the last couple of seasons, that’s right, Gary  isn’t playing anymore.

 

Hants Div 6 SW Match Day 2 Round up

 

Hants Div 6 SW
Match Day 2 Round up

Two teams give it a flex

Bournemouth 4s continue their impressive start to the season, scoring 245 before rolling their opponents for 106 ao, giving a maximum 24 points. Outdoing even this, Winton 3s scored 250 before bouncing out the opposition for 57. These two teams now share first place with an impressive 23.5 average each and are looking to be the teams to beat. Cadnam, Godshill, Bramshaw and Bransgore slot in closely behind with score ranging from 22 down to 20.   

Mudeford 2s and Brokenhurst 2s fought out the most exciting tie of the day, with Mudeford being put into bat and scoring 144 ao. In reply Brokenhurst scored 144 ao with 1 ball remaining for a tie. They had scored 144 to tie the match when their eight wicket went down, needing 1 one to win with 2 wickets remaining, both went down without a run being scored, must have been an exciting finish, with the bowler doing the business in such a situation winning my ‘balls of steel’ award.

The unluckiest team so far has to be Parley threes, both of their games being cancelled, am not sure why. Is a shame for them as they have missed out, I have enjoyed two glorious days of cricket. Perhaps they can get up and running this weekend? If they get to play and win, it will propel them to near the top of the table.

After 2 weeks there are 9 teams out of the 18 yet to record a win. Good luck to them all in their next matches (as I am not playing one of them), I hope to see them all firing soon.

Week 2 Table

 

A Tale of Two Weather Reports

Winton Dev Team V Ferndown 4s 

I have already started getting annoyed by having to type out ‘Winton Dev Team’ so for the purposes of this blog at least I am going to nickname the team ‘The Kapils’, which is easier to type and gives a nod to one of my favourite cricketers of the 80s.

I saw two weather reports for Saturday. The BBC was saying to it would probably be a wet day all the way through, the Met was saying there may be some early showers before clearing. As it turns out, both were wrong. The morning had very light showers followed by a dry warm day, so game on.

Dolman's Farm. A pleasant place to play cricket

Looking at the pitch, it was green and so soft I could push my thumb into it; describing the probable bounce as ‘low’ would be a massive overstatement. It was screaming ‘bowl first’ louder that any pitch I have ever seen, (including the one last week, as it was even softer). We promptly lost the toss and got put into bat.

My wicket was the first to fall, in a fairly unbelievable way. The ball pitched so far outside leg I ignored it as there was no way I could reach it and it would be called a wide. So when I heard leather hit wood and look round to see the bails of I was somewhat surprised (I may have said a rude word….). Coming off team mates asked me if it had moved loads, with my honest answer being ‘it must have, as it pitched so wide I stopped watching’. An opposition player described it to me as ‘the ball of the century’. Doesn’t make it any less annoying mind…….

After I was out the game quickly got out of hand, wickets tumbling so the score was 6 for 4 followed by 15 for 5. The bowler doing the damage – John Dalton, was a style of bowler that our youngsters that made up most of the top order would not have faced before. Slow and loopy, letting the pitch and conditions do the work; he kept putting it on the right place against them. Misjudging their shots, they got through them far too early, chipping up easy catches. This left the score at ‘oh for fa sake’ levels, with me starting to make plans for what to do with the rest of my day.

Not quite the whimsy of a tree inside the boundary, 

but interesting visuals never the less

We then put on a bit of a fight back though, with a 70 run stand for the sixth wicket. Alex played a good supporting role but Pranav carried the load. He was not originally in the team but we had a player drop out. He usually plays in the Winton Dorset team but they had too many, so he came and played for us. He usually plays at a higher level, so this series of events was very fortuitous.

One oddity that was thrown up though was the bowler he scored most of his runs against. Watching the game, Giles Woodcraft I would rate as objectively the ‘best’ bowler in the Ferndown team; a good accurate offy bowling the ball through at a good pace. The other bowlers, Pranav found it harder to time. I think Giles’s bowling though, was more at a standard that he was used to seeing so he found it easier to line up and he went after him, Giles going for over 5 runs an over in a low scoring game. Cricket can be very odd sometimes. Giles did stick with it though and eventually claimed Pranav’s wicket.

After Pranav went, the game swung back with the Kapils being all out for 115 in the 33^rd over. On the plus side, when we were at 6 for 4 getting to over 100 seemed like a fantasy so it represents a good recovery, it also meant that there was a total to defend. On the down side, it was a very low total to bowl to and the pitch had been drying out. Happily for us though, it was a warm rather than a sunny day so the pitch had not completely dried, the conditions for Ferndown batting therefore I think could be described as ‘easier’, but certainly not ‘easy’.

The Ferndown innings started of hopefully for us, as the openers looked like they were finding it difficult. But a wicket did not fall. A dolly of a catch was put down, they played and missed without the edge being found time after time and they got to over 20 without losing a wicket. I was fearful that they would start to get comfortable and start scoring regularly. However, the bowling continued to be testing with a helpful pitch and slowly the wickets started to fall. Everyone of the Kapils bowling unit kept it tight, making runs hard to come by. At the start of the innings Ferndown needed less than 3 an over but this crept up over the course of the innings. It was a tight game all the way through though, as only a couple of loose over that got hit could swing the game decisively towards Ferndown. The bowlers stayed focused though and as each batsman looked to push the scoring on against the good bowling and helpful conditions they instead got out. The innings finishing all out for 86 in the 38^th over for what, at tea, seemed like an unlikely win for Winton.  

Looking at performances, Pranav Antony’s 67 was the difference maker in game, with no one else on either team getting close. Bowling wise, everyone who bowled for the Kapils were on it and played their part. The pick of the bowlers would be Alex Tekeli, a medium pacer who bowled an accurate, nagging line daring the opposition to try and hit him. He got his fivfer with figures of 6.3/2/9/5 A very impressive performance. I would also say it was an immense performance from the whole team in the field, with everyone throwing themselves around in the ring to cut of balls and chasing them down to the boundary when needed. In amateur cricket fielding can be overlooked. In this game though, committed fielding probably saved 20 plus runs, probably making a material difference to the result. Special mentioned to Attila Tekeli, the wicket keeper. The uncertain bounce made it difficult to sometimes judge taking the ball. He took one on the side of the foot from our fastest bowler, which probably bruised nicely. Another ball, which kept lower than expected, looked like it was going for byes until, luckily, he managed to get his gonads in the way. Commitment above and beyond there…….

For Ferndown, John Dalton finished with the highly impressive figures of 4/2/3/4, with Giles Woodcraft also taking three wickets. Their batting never really got going with a few making it into the teens without anyone pushing on.

So, the Kapils are up and running with their first win. A long way to go to see how this season pans out though.  

Match Scorecard 

 

I quite enjoy a BLT and packet
of salt and vinegar square crisps

This weekend’s game is fast approaching and it looks like we peaked early on the Tea’s front last week – back to the meal deal, although might sort out a slice of cake for myself as well.

The game is away against Ferndown 4s at their Dolmans Farm pitch. This is a venue that is neither town nor country; it is a purpose built cricket ground off a main road – in an out of the way setting surrounded by trees without the beauty you get in a proper ‘village’ setting. I like playing there. It has two pitches and even the second one that we will be playing on is well kept, both the square and outfield have always been in very good condition whenever I have seen it. There is not a changing room for the second pitch, which is something I am not to fussed by as pulling on a white top and pair of trousers in the car is no big deal. There is however a good pavilion next to the first pitch, which is right next to the second one so very close. This has decent toilets and a bar with decent beer on tap so all the essentials are sorted. It also has a very idiosyncratic touch of a socking great electricity pylon between the two pitches. Whilst this can be objectively described as ‘ugly’, it does add a touch of oddness that is sort of essential when regarding all things cricket. I think they should embrace this more and make it their club logo – a pylon crowned by an electric bolt. Mind you, I have never made a living as a logo designer so whadda I know?  

As to the quality of the opposition; Ferndown 4s came dead last in the 6^th division last year, only not getting relegated as there is nowhere to get relegated to. This may lead you to think that there is a decent chance of a victory. However, as previously outlined, a clubs fourth or fifth team can change quality quite quickly from one year to the next – as new youngster come through, so we can take nothing for granted. They did lose their first game, mainly due to an even worse batting collapse then we suffered; they did however turn in a decent bowling performance. So my honest review of the game is that we can approach the game with confidence but really need to avoid cocky. If our middle order fires as it can and the tail chip in we should do well.

There is an elephant in the room about Saturday’s game that I have not yet mentioned. Or, not so much in the room, more an elephant walking around outside with a very large umbrella, looking up at the clouds tsk tsking about the possibility of rain. The forecast, whilst not disastrous, is showing a bit of a game of roulette with the clouds, with possible showers. Will we get hit by rain, or will the showers dance around us? Both things seem to be possible. What idiot came up with a game that could only be played when it was sunny in England? Makes as much sense as someone in Kuwait inventing ice hockey. So, game on for the first win of the season on Saturday, or possibly not. Bloody cricket eh?

 

Hants Div 6 SW
Match Day 1 Round up

Happy times for Bournemouth

In the battle between two teams relegated last year, Bournemouth 4s took a dominating victory over Mudeford 2s. Is this evidence of a strong Bournemouth team this year, or just an off day for Mudeford? Who knows? It is far too early to start drawing conclusions but a good start for Bournemouth. Their fourth team is joined at the top of the table by their fifth team, who also took an impressive win against the Suttoners, a good showing indeed and early evidence that Bournemouth might have some strong youngsters coming through.

Joining the two Bournemouth teams at the top of the table on 23 points are Winton 3s with a good win over Beaulieu. Also Godshill, who fluked their way to a completely underserved victory in their match. Pywell Park, Bramshaw and Bransgore all also recorded victories tucking in at the top of the table.

The only other thing of note is that there were two games that were cancelled. I presume this was due to the vast amounts of rain over the last few months has made it tricky to prepare a playable pitch. If this is the case I feel for the players in the teams that did not get to play as the weather on the day was perfect for cricket and it must have been frustrating.

So we are up and running; do these early results mean that Bournemouth are the team(s) to beat? Or have they peaked to early? Do the post match discussions about ‘there are plenty of positives and lessons learnt’ that the teams that have lost had (because you can guarantee that they will have had them) mean anything? Will this show them striking back against their next week’s opponents? Or is it just another manifestation of the delusional positive thinking that everyone that plays cricket has to fool themselves with to get to the game? We have all summer to find out……..

Match Day 1 Table

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same

 

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same

 

A half hour drive gets me to the ground, where I park. The car park is very close to the boundary of the pitch and I realise that I have just parked smack bang in cow corner, so back in the car and move it to somewhere sensible.

Out of the car to greet team mates and opposition. Also the ponies, who are in charge of everything in the New Forest and will wander onto the pitch whenever they god damn please.

The white markers are the boundary

Then onto ‘Cricketing Ritual No. 1’ – Inspecting the pitch. At this level, this usually this involves looking at it and thinking ‘a bit of grass coverage but should be ok and play fairly well throughout the day, yeah bat first.’ However, this pitch was green and proper damp, which meant that it would keep low and seam about like your mum after a few large G&Ts; before drying out under the days hot sun, meaning less sideways movement and reliable bounce. It was screaming ‘bowl first’ as loud as any pitch I have seen. We promptly lost the toss and got put into bat.

This did mean that I got to open the batting with my son – which is just lovely for a dad. There are also complementary aspects to our respective styles of play that make us a useful opening pair: He is right handed, I’m left, he prefers batting 1, I prefer 2, he is a more aggressive stroke maker, I’m more flat bat, he is good at cricket, I’m, well, these comparisons can be taken too far.

Opening the batting we quickly realised we had a game on our hands, as the two opening bowlers, whilst not express paced, were accurate, experienced and knew how to exploit the conditions. We quickly agreed that the plan was to protect the middle order, see these two off, take any bad balls on offer and see where we were after the first ten or so overs. We managed this very well, the score being 30 / 0 after 11 overs, not express scoring but a good start in the conditions. The first wicket then fell to the most outrageous piece of incompetent umpiring that I have ever witnessed, giving an unbelievable LBW decision to a ball that clearly struck the batsman outside the leg stump. I refused to even look at the umpire as I walked off, managing to keep my composure and dignity in spite of this nonsense decision.

This did give me the opportunity to sit and admire the surroundings.

The view from the pavilion 

The second wicket went down a run later before Jude Lee came to the crease. He and Sargon put on a 50 partnership at a good clip, building towards a decent score. It was at this point it become clear that a bowler named Neil was not well liked by his team mates. Jude offered them a few catches off Neil’s bowling that they refused to take, spilling the ball onto the grass with weak excuses of ‘losing sight of it in the trees’ or some such.   

After 25 overs with 8 wickets in hand we looked to push on to a competitive score, without great success though.  Neil was getting so pissed off with his team mates that he ended up taking a caught and bowled as no one else was willing to take a catch for him. The next wicket went shortly after but things were not looking to bad, as we had some decent bats in the middle order. But they came and went in far too rapid succession followed by a tail of woe, slumping from 83 / 2 to 110 all out. Special mention must go to Chris Lee, who invented a new way to get out. The ball hit his back pad outside leg stump and he managed to rabona it through his legs onto the stumps, not sure how but it was a rare piece of skill.

This left a not over challenging run chase but you never know with cricket. When the first wicket of Godhills innings went down – nicked off to 1^st slip in the third over, hope started to rise. However, Chris Houghton played a good innings, cautious when needed and looking to punish the bad ball, he made 52 before succumbing. He was joined at No 3 by Chris Wyver, who I think had a bus to catch as he was full of aggressive intent, helped by a dry pitch. The cows being fully in danger.

At this ground ‘cow corner’ is not a meaningless cricketing cliché

He inevitably fell (chopping on) but hit a quick 35 before going, which was plenty when chasing such a low total. An innings of single minded unsubtle intent which was quickly over, but you could see he enjoyed immensely. I only hope for Mrs Wyver’s sake that he does not make love like he bats……. Godshill then went on to wrap it up.

As for individual performances for Winton: Sargon top scored, dealing with a very tricky opening spell before building an innings, he will be disappointed to not at least have gotten his 50. Special mention to Jude; having to go out after your team has lost 2 quick wickets and rebuild an innings is never easy; the fact that he did so as a 13 year old showed very good character. Bowling wise, no one really stands out. A special mention to Sargon, who was the only bowler used to not a take a wicket but bowled a very good ‘how did he not take a wicket’ spell.

For Gosdhill, on top of those already mentioned, Jon and Simon opening the bowling were bang on it. Sam Scott also did well bowling, starting a bit wayward and giving some runs away before he recovered to take 4 wickets. And finally Matt Robb, a left arm slow bowler, who was the pick of the bowlers for either side, bowling accurately and moving it off the pitch for figures of 8/5/7/2, impressive indeed. A big thanks to Godshill for playing in good spirit and good luck to you for the rest of the season – am sure you will do well.

Match Scorecard

    

  

 

I bloody love cricket me

 

I bloody love cricket me

A proper write up of the game to come but as a quick review of the day - The weather was gorgeous, warm with a slight breeze. The views from the ground and the setting were numinous in their beauty. A game played in a competitive spirit but with good humour against a team who were a top bunch of blokes. Followed by returning to the club house for a couple of beers and a high quality curry. Get home to fall onto the sofa with a body aching from honest sporting activity. At its best cricket can conspire to provide a brilliant day away from the stresses of normal life. So yes, I bloody love cricket me.

There is no such thing as a free lunch

 

There is no such thing as a free lunch

There does however, seem to be such a thing as a free tea………

A preview of Saturday’s game.

The Winton Dev teams first game is away to Godshill. And the news just in is that that Godshill has been in touch to say that they will be providing tea. Down in the lower reaches of cricket you are usually providing your own refreshments, which in my case is usually a Tesco meal deal as I am too pushed for time on a Saturday morning to sort anything proper. So an offer of tea is very welcome and indeed very stylish on our hosts behalf.

Right, that’s the important stuff out of the way, what about minor stuff like the ground we will be playing at and the opponent’s team? The ground I have only been to once before, and that was not to play cricket. I used the car park as the starting point for a long ole walk in the country, as it is in a beautiful area. The ground itself, although in the New Forest is not surrounded by trees but on the top of a rise with long views across heath land to the horizon (which I presume accounts for the village name?). If it was damp and windy it seems like it would be a fairly tough place to play. However, the weather seems set very fair for Saturday so it is looking like an excellent and beautiful setting for the opening game of the season.

The ground itself seems to be one of those ‘from time immemorial’ grounds that you get spread across southern England. The square would be well established. Think the pitch may be a bit sticky, due to the biblical amount of rain that we have had since last October, which must make it difficult to prepare a pitch. There have been a few days of sun this week that may help firm things up, but that is a few days v months of awful weather, so may be an interesting pitch. The outfield struck me as one of those New Forest grounds that seem only partially tamed. Well covered in good quality grass but the ground itself not smooth with waves and ridges. This can be a bit of a challenge as you can never been sure that the ball wont jump up and smash you in the face when ground fielding - cricket eh? A sedate easy game…… This is not really a complaint, as it is not due to the ground not being cared for; it is just a fact of what the ground is and always has been.  

And what quality of opposition may we be facing? Well, hard to get a handle on it really. They were relegated from NW Div 5 which suggests that they are used to playing at a higher level, but had a bit of a torrid season to finish last. Checking their website, it has not been updated since April 2017, which may suggest a club in decline. However, they are organised enough to provide food for the opposition as well as themselves which to my mind may just show a club with a clear minded view of where their priorities should lay. So to be frank, can’t even begin to guess how difficult a game it may be. I’m just looking forward to a days cricket on a sunny day, in a beautiful setting for the opening match of the season; how could that be bettered? Well, you could throw in a cricketing tea - Hurrah!

The cricketers proffer their bats To the ladies in the big straw hats

 

The cricketers proffer their bats

To the ladies in the big straw hats

The chink of bottles and coins

Sounds the knell as the battle is joined

 

With battle due to commence in a few days time, it is time to look at the runners and riders and consider who may be carrying away the prizes. The prizes of course being the three promotion spots, with coming first an extra cherry on top.

First three teams to consider are Bournemouth 4s, Brockenhurst 2s and Mudeford 2s. They were all relegated from Div 5 last season. Talking to people from teams that are relegated it is nearly always a case of ‘we were unlucky / were going to win that game which was rained off / had illness hit the team at a crucial time / we did our homework but left it on the side could I bring it in tomorrow please’. So there is a good chance these teams are really annoyed to find themselves in Div 6 and are looking to bounce straight back. This is especially true of Bournemouth 4s, who find themselves in the same Division as their 5^th team. A club having two teams in the same league is not good so am expecting a big effort from them to get promoted. I am also aware that this season they are captained by an experienced and skilled captain and player so fully expect them to be at the top of the table come the end of the season. (Hello Dave – if that’s not a kiss of death I don’t know what is, you’re welcome…..).

Next up is Bransgore 2s and Cadnam 3s, who just missed out on promotion last season so can be expected to be in the hunt this year. So, 5 teams so far hoping for 3 places. So far so normal, but this year there are some extra circumstances that could make the league a lot more challenging.

Firstly there are two teams that have been moved from the North West League – I presume to balance numbers. Godshill 1s were relegated from NW Div 5 last season, so my above reasoning kicks in. Bramshaw 3s were close to promotion in NW Div 6 last year, so again will probably be looking to challenge.

Then the plot thickens with other moves. First up, Winton have 2 teams in the league, their 3s and ‘Development Team’ – the 5^th team (they have another team in Dorset). The 3^rd team were not demoted, they were playing in Dorset last year and seemingly for the very sensible reason outlined in a previous post are moving to play in Hampshire. As they are moving into the Hampshire leagues they have to start in the bottom Division, even though they are coming from a higher Division of Dorset, so it is more than possible they will be targeting a move up the divisions. I also hear whispers that Parley, although they have had a team in the division for a while, are planning to bring in stronger players from a Dorset team in an effort to get their 3rd team promotion. If this is true or not we shall see in the coming weeks. What this all means is that there may be over half the teams in the league targeting promotion. If this is the case things could be quite competitive.

But, I hear you ask. What team do you play for, and how do you think they will do? Well, I will be playing for Winton Development team. As to how they will do? This is my first season at Winton so can’t be too sure. But from what I can see we have a mix of some promising youngsters and decent older players. So I think it is fair to aim for a top half of the table finish. Don’t think we will be the weoakest team in the league and will be able to give any team a game, so winning more games than we lose I think is a realistic target.

Talking of targets, time to set some for myself.

1.       Have a game where I wear a pair of sun glasses whilst bowling. This is an important aim for 3 reasons. First, it means the weather is such that I need to wear sunglasses, which is always nice in the English summer but never a given. Second, it means that I have remembered to take the blasted things to a game rather than leaving them on the side so I am squinting into the sun when fielding. Finally, it looks cool, not quite ‘Lou Reed and Iggy Pop wearing sunglasses in a nightclub’ cool, but still pretty goddamn stylish.

2.       Not get run out by my son (yes, am playing with my son this year). Now, anyone that knows how the cricketing gods work will already know that this ambition is so unlikely to be achieved as to be nigh on impossible. But hey, let’s aim high.

3.       Score a fifty. Never done this before, but as I say, I have only been playing two years and only last year batted up the order. My top score was 42 so think this is a realistic target.

4.       Take 3 wickets in a match. I know 5 is supposed to be the magic number but in a 40 over match 3 represents a good strike rate. Again, think this is realistic as my bowling is coming along, I consistently land the ball in the right place and have developed my technique so I can actually get movement off the pitch.

Now, in the last few days I have been posting what seems like loads. In the future this will settle down to one or two posts a week. Maybe a pregame preview followed by an after game write up. The season is only a few days away - am really looking forward to it.

‘The too young, too old and almost competent’

 

‘The too young, too old and almost competent’

What to say about Hampshire Div 6 SW? First up, more observant people might be asking, ‘as you live in Bournemouth which is in Dorset, what the hell are you doing playing in a Hampshire league anyhow?’ The simple answer being that Dorset does not regionalise its lower leagues. As lovely as such places as Marnhull and Weymouth are, the journey to and from them on top of a game of cricket is a massive pain in the arse. Whereas, Hampshire South West is basically the Bournemouth area and the New Forest, nowhere is too far away and there is a decent road net. This also provides a pleasing mix of more town based settings with very rural and traditional village based settings that quite often have  irritatingly smug and self centred wild ponies wandering about.

So, the maelstrom of competition that is Hampshire South West Div 6, what type of teams do you get playing cricket at such a level? Well, I would split the league broadly into 3 different types of teams.

First up are those teams that are the clubs first (and only) team. These tend to be traditional village teams. ‘Village’ is often used as an insult in cricket, but when I play these teams they always seem relaxed and supportive and enjoy the game they are playing, so good on them. At this level, they often are amongst the stronger teams in the league, as they have a few players that are too good for this level, but there is only 1 team in the club to play for, along with a group of more ‘Div 6’ level players. Their level can go up and down seemingly at random though. As if you are lucky, you will catch them on a week where their strong players are not available and have been replaced by ‘Keith’s mum and her sister’ to make up numbers. If you are unlucky, you will play them on a week where ‘Dan and Ben are back from university and are up for a game, and they have brought a mate who is also a decent bat’, which can be a sudden influx of strength.

Second up is a clubs second (and last) team. These tend to be competitive at this level because smaller clubs seem to have a more homogenous playing group, so the second team players are not that far worse than the first team, without a longer tail, so such teams quite often are nursing dreams of promotion.

The last type of team is a bigger clubs third, fourth or even fifth team. These teams tend to be ‘development’ teams for children taking their first steps in adult cricket, along with older gentlemen that may be beyond their prime. When my boy starting playing adult cricket he was 12 bowling at one end, at the other there was someone who was 72. These teams are rounded out by those in that are not able to play in the higher leagues. These teams can change in quality a great deal from year to year. One year being quite weak, but the next a good crop of younger lads can come through, a dad or two that could play at a higher level drops down to play with their child and the team gets a lot better. Such teams do not tend to end up at the top of the league though, as the aim of these teams is to develop players who will go on to play for their clubs higher ranked teams, rather than aiming to get the team promoted. If anything the quality in the team may go down over the season, as anyone doing really well may get nabbed to play in a higher division.

So, there is the broad spread of how the league is made up. Next will be an in depth, insightful analysis of which teams may be bothering the winners podium this season…..

 

In pursuit of sporting mediocrity…………

 

 In pursuit of sporting mediocrity…………

This is a blog to explore the lowest end of playing cricket – somewhere in between ‘that’s so village’ and ‘wheelie bin park rubbish’. I am playing in the bottom division of the Hampshire League. When playing at this level it is easy to be looked down on – by the general public, as you are playing cricket, which is (quite rightly) considered to be a bit weird. But also by other people that play cricket, as the standard is not that high and cricket (at least in England) is still a very snobbish game and I have listened to comments about ‘why would people even bother playing at such a standard?’

In answer to such questions, I play because I love it, and my sense of self worth is not tied into how good I am at playing this odd. bizarre game. I only started playing 2 years ago – and I am a gentleman on the wrong side of 50. Why start playing at such a late age? Well, because both my children did so I eventually decided to give it a go in the same spirit that I learnt to ride a horse several years ago; as a challenge, to see if I could learn new tricks. Because playing cricket is really hard. No really, even to play in the bottom divisions it is difficult in a way that most people do not realise. People who have never played think it’s easy because they have only ever seen it from a distance and it looks sedate and easy, how hard can it be? People that have played all their life just don’t realise the basic skills they learnt as a kid are a lot more difficult than they think. I mean, bowling a ball – is a complicated and counter intuitive way to propel a ball forward in a direction you want it to go, it makes no sense. Batting looks easy – just a bit of hand eye co-ordination and give the ball a whack. This is true, until the ball is faster than you think, or it changes direction mid way through its flight.

Am I any good? Such a question is probably best answered by my children.

My boy on my batting; ‘When you are taking guard and the bowler is running in you have a good stance and look quite stylish, but then you try and play a shot and well………..’

My girl on my bowling; ‘You don’t really spin the ball do you dad? You just say you are a spin bowler because you bowl so slowly’.

With such ringing endorsements what could possibly go wrong?

So what will the blog cover? I will be giving a view of the clubs I play and the people I meet throughout the season. This will include a short and utterly bias write up on each game that I play. As I will be writing about other people I will probably have to change names to protect the guilty. Before the season starts though I will be writing an overview of the division I play in. So for the next blog entry, be prepared to learn about that centre of competitive sporting excellence that is the Hampshire Cricket League, Division 6 (South West).